I have a confession: this Memorial Day weekend we went places and did things and neither of my babies were in bed before ten on any of the nights. It was a blast, and very, very exhausting. All of this to set up that this was the reason Boss was snuggled in bed with me to watch the premier of The Bachelorette. I’ll take my parenting award now, thank you!
I was impressed by his witty commentary on “how many husband’s can fit into one car? It’s a clown car, mommy”
TRUTH, Boss. Truth.
I confess, I always enjoy The Bachelor more than The Bachelorette because well…women be crazy. Usually the men are a little less insane. Usually. Poor Des. ABC has culled some seriously LCD dudes this season. Before the party even ended our sweet little Des was forced to send a lovely young man who’s “mom says I’m good looking” home. Home, I am sure to a strange collection of china dolls who he dresses up and sleeps with at night. This dude had a singular focus on getting her in the ‘fantasy suite’ that didn’t just border on creepy, it bordered on has anyone checked on the female abduction rate in this guys neighborhood?
As much as I love the crazy, I love innocuous crazy. Let’s not have any actual danger thank you very much.
Which brings me to Bachelor #1. Ben, who got the very first rose. Why you may ask? Well, he proved the old adage that babes cannot resist a puppy or a baby. And Des fell for it. While most of twitter (including myself) raged at the pimping out of the tiniest bachelor ever, Brodie. This kid was so cute and so just…awwwwww inducing I wanted Des to toss everyone in the pool and take sweet Brodie to DisneyWorld. Make it happen ABC, I know you can. Meanwhile, I wondered if Brodie’s mom was calling her lawyer. Cause I’m telling you…that ain’t right.
Kasey, a social media expert spent the night subtly suggesting hashtags to the viewing audience. I have some for him #notonyourlife #Idontthinkthatmeanswhatyouthinkitmeans #douchebag #getoffmytv #seeya
Then there was Zak. With a K. Just a K. Not ch, not ck, not even a shirt….just a k. So desperate for attention was our shirtless leader that he jumped into the pool. Then stated he ‘earned’ the rose for that hard work. Zak, I feel like we may need to work on the definition of ‘earning’ something.
Overwhelmingly I cannot fault Des for her swift picking of Juan Pablo, the soccer player with an accent. Seriously? He wasn’t a douche and did I mention he’s a hot soccer player with an accent?
I’m not even going to go into details about the magician, the guy who wore a full suit of armor or poor Larry, a glasses wearing ER doctor who didn’t even get to say hello before he had to say good bye.
Next weekt hey we begin proclaiming their love and even resort to fisticuffs. Perhaps they’ll bring old ER Doc Larry back to stitch up some dudes.
(Photo credit: Rick Rowell/ABC Photo)