It’s good to be five. Five is a real kid. No trace of baby left. Long legs and over-confidence. Five. The Boss is five today.
Today you are five. FIVE! I feel as though I’ve blinked and here you are, this fully formed and fully opinionated person. Everyday you challenge me and make me a better person. I live in fear that I will fail you in some way. I am forever regretful that I don’t know all the answers to all of your amazing questions. Like, why can’t we see our brain when we close our eyes? And how does the water get down to the sewers where the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles are and then get clean and come back? And how am I growing? And when I was with God how did he put me in your tummy? (A concept you came up with on your own, by the way. You talk a lot about before you were with me when you were flying with God) I don’t know how mothers did it without google! You frequently pipe up from the backseat after having stumped me with a question saying “don’t worry Mommy, you can just google it!”
You look out for Huckle-boo. I laugh at how I worried that you would have trouble adjusting to having a baby brother. You were not only the center of the world to me and your father but also to your grandparents and aunt. Our daily world literally revolved around you. When Huck came your heart grew just like mine did. Now Huck is two and man is he really two. He steals your toys, hits, throws temper tantrums and most of the time, you just take it. Sure, you complain from time to time, who wouldn’t? But your patience with him gives me patience. While I am desperate for an over-tired Huck to nap, you want him up. As soon as he is sleeping you start counting down till you can wake him up to play. You accept that he wants whatever you have, you share so beautifully with him. I am sure there will come a time when you don’t want him around at all, but not so far. You have said twice “let’s send Boo back.” That thought only lasts a minute before you emphatically state that you’d miss him and we should keep him. Twice. In two years. I think that’s pretty good!
Let’s talk Baseball for a second, you are well into what I am assuming will be a life long love of the game. You watch ESPN, you practice every single day. You blow me away with your skill, you can bat like crazy and you’re not-so-patiently waiting to break free of T-ball and get to pitched baseball! You love Spider-man, the Smurfs, rock-n-roll and Pitch Perfect. We have the greatest dance parties and you have some serious moves. One day I swear I will get your So You Think You Can Dance audition on video, it’s EPIC. One of my favorite things about you is how you vocalize your feelings. Coach Shannon wanted you to jump off the diving board at the pool and we could hear you all the way across the way “I’m feeling a little nervous about this.” I also adore how easily you accept praise for your accomplishments. After you get out of the water at swim class you turn to me and give me a big thumbs up, so proud of yourself. My heart just bursts with joy and pride. I hope you always feel proud of your hard work and what you accomplish. I will be.
Your dramatics make all of us laugh. If we say no to you you cry out “You broke my heart!” I hope your heart is never really broken, but if it is I hope you will come to me. When you get scared at night you aske me to protect you and I hear you whispering to yourself “They’re just shadows. It’s nothing” and I hold you closer until you fall asleep. Oh, yeah you sleep with us. You can’t bear to be away from us even at night. “But I’ll miss you” You say sweetly, and so, for now, you sleeping in any room other than ours is not even a thought.
You are the light of my life, Max. My constant companion and my partner in crime. Five years ago they brought you to me and when I saw you for the first time I said “Hi Max. I know you.” You reached a tiny, moments old hand out and touched my nose. You knew me too.
I love you so much. Thank you for a wonderful five years! It’s good to be five. And it’s good to be a five year old’s Mommy.
I love you and love you and love you and love you.