The least of which is that non-crunchy doritos are just corn tortillas, and I will eat those bad girls wrapped around taco junk like WHOA. And I will eat them in fluffy slippers while weeping over the Notebook, hidden in my pink bedroom with my canopy bed and and write in my journal. I’m also making a fake Facebook account so I can stalk that one high school boyfriend. OH! I super hope they make pink lady Doritos (Doritas? Dorititas?) for Breast Cancer Awareness month! The only thing better than delicate girly corn chips is pink girly corn chips!
If you make ANYTHING pink we will buy it. Right ladies? We are like pink hammer? Gimme! Pink TV’s? I am a grown up so YES! Oh! Can it have a bow? Maybe kitty ears. We love animal ears on everything! Or Pom Poms!
But as an eating disordered woman, one who is healthy now, this just hits me right where it counts. I remember distinctly seeing Scarlett O’Hara being told to eat before she goes to the barbecue at Twelve Oaks. Because the men can’t see you eat. (now, this is probably the LEAST horrible thing in that flick but stick with me) Order a salad, don’t finish your meals on dates, we are taught. By the 4th grade most girls on are on a diet or believing they need to diet. Skipping lunch becomes the norm as the only thing worse than being weak enough to need food is the shame of letting people see how weak you are. Your shame is compounded if you make noise. A Diet Coke and a cheese stick for strength is all any girl needs.
We teach our girls to be small and quiet, complacent and pliable. To watch our tone and to not be too loud, too angry or in general too much. Now you want to tell me that eating Doritos is an affront to femininity? Their marketing idea is making chips easier to hide and quieter to eat? Hard pass on that. Junk food already has shameful connotations, sneaking a chip, we shouldn’t be eating this, etc. etc. etc.
It may seem like a cute gimmick, well a stupid gimmick but it reinforces a very strong force on us and our girls. And it sucks.
So you’ll forgive me if the idea of non-crunchy secretive doritos made to fit in your purse doesn’t fill me with glee. Did they not fit in purses before? Are mini bags a secret only mom type women are privy too? I have three kids, at any given time I have a bag of chips…somewhere. Ladies without children, lean in, let me tell you a secret…Doritos come in little bags. You can get them at the store or even in vending machines. I know right, this is BRAND NEW INFORMATION.
We don’t need feminine chips. We do need feminine products for lower income girls. We need workplaces free of sexual harassment. We need female leaders who will speak for us. We need male leaders to view us as humans.
The idea that we eat Doritos too loudly and we should be ashamed of that?
We don’t need that.