years measured other than numbers.



So. Today is that day we add one more candle to my cake. At this point I can illuminate quite a room with the flames!

But if forty is the new thirty and thirty is the new twenty, then twenty is the new…ten?


All I know is that I don’t feel as old as the number would indicate. However, I have noticed some  things about the passing of years. My trips around the sun are changing the way I think.  So this year, instead of a numerical age, I am defining my age differently.

I am Peter Rabbit is a total sneak thief and Farmer McGregor is totally in the right years old.

I am but I may or may not leave strawberries carrots and such for the family of bunnies that live in our backyard years old.

I am no thank you Urban Outfitters, I don’s want to pay 85 bucks for clothes that look like dirty rags years old.

I am too old for Forever 21 and too young for Chico’s years old.

I am basically my style guide is does this make me look like Amy Poehler in Mean Girls and if so…then it’s too young for me years old.

I am oh! That “ancient Korean Beauty Treatment that looks like a torture device sounds promising!” years old.

I am yay! Amazon prime can have that “Ancient Korean Beauty Treatment Device” here straight from China by next Friday years old.

I am Greg Heffly is horrible and the book should really be called Diary of a Selfish Brat: A Cautionary Tale of How To Have No Friends years old.

I am those aren’t grays, they are natural highlights years old.

I am I have to have my roots done every four weeks years old.

I am off all the styles I thought would stick around from when I was young, pants down around the knees is not the one I would have bet on years old.

I am I totally confess I just did that thing where you look in the mirror and pull your face back to see what you would look like with a little “refresh” years old.

I am by a little “refresh” I mean a total overhaul years old.

I am knowing I maybe have another year of nursing a baby if I am lucky years old.

I am I will be drinking a lot of wine when Lady weans because I had no idea how much nursing my babies would mean to me years old.

I am I recognize how sometimes things you never thought would happen can be the most meaningful seasons in your life years old.

I am I will probably also get a little Botox when she weans cause… you know, angry forehead years old.

I am if you don’t like something and you CAN change it, go ahead and do it years old.

I am acting AS IF really can work years old.

I am I love Pretty Little Liars years old.

I am but then sometimes I think…these are high school girls and I want Ezra Fitz in jail for statutory years old.

I am I teaching my children patience as I learn it myself years old.

I am I finally understand forgiveness years old.

I am hey! I think that “Ancient Korean Torture Device” straight from China might really be working! years old.

I am I have no time for sneaky, dishonest “friends” and I value myself- and my other friends- enough to say when I am done years old.

I am really happy where I am and though my life didn’t go the way I had planned (does it ever?) I wouldn’t change anything years old.

I am wait, no I would change one thing…I would save more money and not take out that damn student loan but other than that, nothing years old

I am sad for my younger self, so riddled with self hatred and I wish I could tell her she wasn’t fat, wasn’t bad, wasn’t worthless, I wish I could tell her all those people who were cruel don’t mean shit in the real world. That every year as you get older the world gets larger and you will find people who love and treasure you just as you are years old.

And now…cake. Or ice cream. Or both, cause it’s my birthday. Have some cake too. Just cause we are all still living and breathing and loving.

Here’s to another year! Let’s DO THIS!



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